What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
