K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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