Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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