These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
