Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
