I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
