You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
