He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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