people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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