Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
