My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
