Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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