I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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