JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Of course I have a pirate flag
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
