there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
