btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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