i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
