Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
