My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
