im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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