she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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