hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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