you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize