yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
