PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it's like iHOP with fire
vagina is talking i cant
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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