babies were throwing up all over the place
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
