After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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