I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
