its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She bit a glass in half.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
