your room smells of hookers.
And success
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize