Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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