So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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