I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she told me i tasted like america
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
