My pussy is not your playground.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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