I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
