Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
