just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
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I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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