WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
