You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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