The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
