you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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