I want to make a zoo with you.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
