Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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