that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
