I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
