She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
