Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
