Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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