Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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