you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
