I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This is the high leading the old right now
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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