what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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