i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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