sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
