I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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