Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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