Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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