I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I will be naked everywhere
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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