When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
handjob tips. give me some.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
