Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
