just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sorry about my life...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
