And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
