yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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