Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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