he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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